Diary of a Ka owner

25/12/01: Well, here it is, Merry Christmas, everybody's having fun..............hang on, sounds like a cue for a song. Anyway, here's my Christmas diary update. It's a bit like the Queens speech......only, maybe slightly more humourous...I hope. So, all the usual things you would expect from Christmas......lots of people eating far too much Turkey, The Great Escape on the telly, socks and hankies from those relatives you never see, and who therefore have no idea what to get you, everywhere closed except for the odd petrol station, which is handy when you think of the number of people who are going to run out of barbecue charcoal today.......or not. Talking of films on the telly, had to make a difficult choice this morning, Annie,Casper or Alice in Wonderland. As it turned out, not that difficult a choice as two of them don't have Christina Ricci in....so Casper it was. Enough waffling, down to Klub business. We're up to over 220 members now, which is excellent, and I've got about 6 applications to deal with that I've got in the last week. This many members is, of course, ever so slightly more of a job to look after, keep happy and drag to Klub meets and events compared to the original 8 of us. In order that we keep the Klub going strong and well organised and to keep everyone happy and informed of forthcoming events, we need to recruit regional representatives for the Klub, who can be members' point of contact for meets (both locally and nationally), problems, and suggestions. So, if you feel you have the time to do this, please email me at steve@stunty.co.uk to let me know. Stunty's Ka is going back into the bodyshop the first week in January to have the Ford Racing arches put on.....but with a couple of changes. It's nice to see that of those members who are using the forum, more have taken the time to register, which is good. Please take the time, as Ginger Phil is always telling his other half "It'll only take two minutes"-sorry Phil. Going back to the start of this diary update, and I'm not at all anti-royalist but isn't it time we let someone else do the Queens speech? Rename it the famous persons speech or something, get a celebrity to do it......maybe Jack Dee or Eddie Izzard. It's just a thought. Anyway, before I start waffling, I'll be off. Hope everyone's having a great Christmas and I'll see some of you in Carlisle on the 30th. If you don't know the details, have a look on the forum.

11/08/01: Crikey, a new diary entry, wonders will never cease. That's what you're thinking isn't it? Here's what's been happening to Stunty's Ka since the last update. It's got a new set of wheels, Mondeo Si 7x16" ones, mmm. Had to put 3mm spacers on the front so the back edge of the tyre clears the anti roll bar and they rub the front of the arches slightly, but they look bloody good so who cares! Had the gearbox stripped, the crownwheel and pinion replaced so it's got a final drive ratio of 4.65:1, this brings the gearing back now that I've put 16's on, and also had the Ford Racing lightened flywheel dropped in for good measure. Finally got matching collection bumpers a couple of months back before we took the Klub to Donington for the Ford Enthusiasts Show again, where I might add we dominated the Ford only car park (maybe they should have called it the Ford only Ka park). On the subject of bodywork, the week after next Stunty's Ka is going back into Bradshaws bodyshop (01442 211711) for a few bits to be done in time for Trax 2001. I'm not saying any more, if you want to see what's going to be done, come to Trax at Silverstone on Sunday 2nd of September. The Ka now has a new registration-K80 LKA. Not very exciting, you're thinking. Except I've got it mis spaced and the middle bit of the 8 is really thin so from a bit of a distance it reads KOOL KA....well I like it. Bought some new tyres for the Ka recently, they're made by Semperit, they are directional AND sided, they have a cool tread pattern...and they are the absolute worst tyres I have ever driven on. In the wet I get sod all grip, DO NOT BUY THESE TYRES! We've had a few Klub meets this year, a couple at the seaside, also some in Wales. Met a few new members and put faces to email addresses, which is good. The Ka got broken into a couple of months back. There was a witness to the two little gits that broke my passenger door glass and had it away with the front off of my Pioneer (and yes I know I should have taken it off and put it in my pocket). So, there's a witness, the old bill got really good descriptions of the buggers, so it'll only take a day at the most to catch 'em, right? Wrong. They're too busy pulling me for the "slightly" illegal number plates on the Ka. I know I'm in the wrong, but the plates aren't doing any harm to anyone, no damage to property, no sleepless nights and any sensible copper (what's that, "surely the two words are mutually exclusive") can see what the registration is. The only good thing about continually getting pulled is that I don't have to waste time going to my local police station to check on the progress of the someone having broken into the Ka, I know they haven't caught them because they're too busy out wasting time on real criminals. Touching slightly on Klub issues for a moment, things are going well. Membership has topped 160, so we've achieved over 100 in under the first year. This is good, as Fiesta Club got 100 members in its first year and I'd just wanted to beat that. The quick growth and the fact that such a large proportion of members are very enthusiastic about meets etc will ensure that the Klub is here to stay. Yes, we've had teething troubles, as you would expect from a new club in its first year. The sudden growth after the Klub got a dyno feature in Fast Ford a couple of months back surprised us. If anyone's able to give up about two hours a week to help, mainly with distribution, please get in touch, all help gratefully received. With Trax 2001 only three weeks away (where we'll have a Klub stand for 50 Ka's), it'd be great to have the first issue of the newsletter ready. If you've got anything you want to be included in it (Ka related stories, questions, classified ads etc) email me now. right, that'll do for now. hope to see loads of Ka people at Trax.

28/01/01: Bet you're glad you didn't hold your breathe waiting for the next diary update? Right, what's been happening since the last update then? Well, Christmas came and went with all the usual traditions-presents, crackers, Turkey. Unfortunately, I got back from my trip away on New Years eve to find that the meet at Weston had been cancelled. Not a major problem, as having had no sleep for a week (almost literally), I could look forward to a restful day. The Klub met up for Autosport at the NEC a couple of weeks ago and we had a brilliant turnout. Forthcoming events include the Ford Enthusiasts Show at Donington on March 25th. Feel free to come along and meet the Klub. It's only a week or so since I emailed all the Klub members about it and already we've got 30 members going. I had a bit of a laugh in my local NTL shop the other day. Would you like to hear about it?....Good. I went in to see how much it would cost to start getting digital cable, since my Ondigital subscription runs out at the end of the month. The first disappointment of the visit to the NTL shop was to be told that even though I have previously had analogue cable TV and telephone, I would have to pay 40 installation for the digital stuff. Anyway, then I asked how much the basic package cost and was told it was 10, for which you get 15 channels. Sound quite good, I thought, so I asked the "salesman" what they were. Looking at the list, the first five channels were BBC1, BBC2, ITV, Channel 4 and Channel 5. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not in the habit of paying for something I've already got, so I pointed out to the guy in the shop that really I was getting only 10 channels for 10 and we continued through the list. There were two channels with slightly odd names, and on closer inspection of the small print under these it said "currently only available in Belfast". Hmm, just to be sure, I looked around to check that I wasn't in Belfast, then pointed out to the NTL man that we were now down to eight channels for 10....it's not sounding so good now, is it? Anyway, the next channel on the list read "local channel". Ah, I know about that one, I thought to myself and said "Local channel, that's Channel 10 isn't it?" To which the salesman replied "Yes, that's right". "The same Channel 10 that stopped broadcasting the middle of last year?" I asked. "Erm, yes" replied the now quite flustered NTL lad. All of a sudden we were down to 7 channels for 10. Also listed in the basic package was OnRequest. "Wow, is that the movies on demand channel?" "Yes it is". "So, I don't have to pay three quid a film, it's included in the basic package?" I asked, thinking this made it a good deal. "Well," replied the salesman "you get the two minute preview for free, then you have to pay 3 per film." Hmm, not exactly good, I thought. So now we were down to six channels for 10. "You get the parliamentary channel" said the lad, clutching at straws. "Okay," I said, "so that's broadcast for about half the day for only about two thirds of the year". I felt I was being generous counting this as half a channel and pointed out that it appeared I would get, not fifteen, but five and a half channels for 10 a month. "Well, if you look at it like that" he said. I replied "Well, how would you look at it?" and left the shop. If that story bored you, then you shouldn't have read it. Anyway, just to recap, if you've got a Ka you want to be getting to Donington on March 25th for the Ford Enthusiasts Show. Let's dominate the Ford only carpark again, like we did in October.

23/10/00: I thought I'd better do a diary update to accompany the new pages of pictures from Donington that I put up on the site today, so here goes. I set off Saturday afternoon to meet up with Chris and Craig and got to Tamworth services without any major traffic. We had a coffee, then went straight to Donington Park to meet Simon, who was single handedly fighting off other clubs to keep our space (please excuse the artistic licence in this diary entry). Simon had to shoot off, but we stayed to mark out our pitch....in the dark. The nice security man let us have some stripey tape to cordon off the Klub space. If only he'd been nice enough to let us have something to attach it too. After searching around for sticks, we ended up "fixing" the tape to the ground with rocks. Job done, we headed off to the Travelodge at junction 23a of the M1 to book in for the night. It was surprisingly nice, and after checking in, we went in search of food. We made a (quite ludicrous) decision to eat in the little chef in the complex attached to the Travelodge....BIG MISTAKE! We were greeted with a smile, then told there would be a 25 minute delay. Oh well, 25 minutes isn't that long. Except when you consider that there didn't seem to be any reason for the delay. Only a couple of tables were occupied, there were staff doing nothing behind the counter and with the exception of one of the waitresses apparently doing a sponsored "walk around as much as you can holding a mobile phone to your ear", there seemed to be very little activity. After ordering our drinks, we were pleasantly surprised to find that it only took twenty minutes for them to arrive at our table. After all, you have to remember it takes a long time to "make" fizzy orange. The food took another half an hour to arrive, it looked nothing like the pictures on the menu which wasn't really surprising, and it didn't taste that brilliant either. Having taken up one of their tables for so long, you would have imagined they would be keen to have us settle our bill after eating and vacate the place. Not the case. We weren't able to attract anyones attention so, in the end, we got up and waited at the till....for ages. Finally, someone came to take our money. Thank goodness for free lollipops! They make up for crap service, don't they? We finally went to bed about 2am, then got up at six to wash the Ka's. By about seven thirty, we'd assembled outside the Travelodge and were ready for the drive in. We got to the Klub space just after eight, parked up and had a bit of a polishing session. We had a prime position in the Ford only car park (which maybe should have been renamed Ka park, as we had the best attendance of any club there) so everyone noticed us. We had loads of interest in the Ka's and the Klub all day. Had to keep going inside to the toilets. Not because I'd drunk too much Red Bull, but because it was so bloody cold, I had to go and sit underneath the hot air hand drier to thaw out! We got together for a last photo call at about four, having had a great day out (I hope everyone had a great day, and then drifted off home. Thanks to all who turned up, see you at the next one.
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12/9/00: Okay, hands up who wants to know how good Trax was? Hmm, quite a few then. Okay, it was a brilliant day all round. The weather was superb, everyone was very friendly, we had loads of interest in the Klub and doubled our membership base in one day, it was nice to get a bit of a tan....oh, and I got my picture taken with Olivia from Max Power magazine and me and the Ka got our pictures taken for the next issue of Fast Ford magazine. A big thankyou to Sara from Fiesta Club of Great Britain for the flag. Another big thankyou to everyone who came to Silverstone on the day. There was loads to see and do and it was great to have the Klub stand as a base. It was nice to meet people who I've been mailing for a while and finally put faces to email addresses. The next big meet for the Ka Klub will be at the exhibition halls, Donington Park on 22nd October, see you there.

20/8/00: Hi to anyone who bothers to even check if I've updated this diary, sorry it's been a while. Right, since the last update, what's been going on? Well, Ford Fair came and went. A brilliant day was had by all (well, the six of us that met up for it anyway). Got a bargain new front bumper (colour coded, new style). Also, chatted with the other guys who turned up to Ford Fair about starting an owners club. We're hoping to get an endorsement from Ford to make it a bit more official and we've managed to get club space at Trax at Silverstone on September 10th....which is nice. Three weeks to go until Trax, so let's see, that means I've still got time to wash the Ka about six times, have another haircut and down about eighty tins of Red Bull. Ooh, busy, busy, busy! Special thanks to those who have already said they'll definitely go to Trax, fingers crossed more people will decide to go in the next three weeks.

8/7/00: Welcome to another update of Stunty's diary of a Ka owner. I've started my new job, got some new website graphics for the Ka and had two haircuts since the last update! Firstly, the job. It's great. Always got something to do,never a dull moment and a very varied and interesting career. I wish I'd given it a go years ago. Next, the new graphics. Having my own domain now (www.stunty.co.uk), I decided to get new website graphics for the back and rear side windows of the Ka. An absolute bargain at 10 plus vat. Also, when I went to pick them up, they had made me six instead of the three I'd asked for, bless 'em. So, if anyone wants to advertise Stunty's Ka Site, let me know. I'm not going to take time to detail the two haircuts, that would be mad....hmm. Hopefully now I've got two days off work, I'll make time to spray a few more bits of the interior silver, maybe even get some speakers in the headlining. Who knows....not me! Just a quick mention to those of you who have links to my site using the old cjb.net subdomain. When you've got a minute, can you change it to the new http://www.stunty.co.uk address. Cheers. Oh well, that's it for another update. Thanks for reading.

11/6/00: Two diary updates in as many weeks again, eh? I spoil you lot! Okay, this weeks news. SHOCK HORROR!! After removing the doorcards in the Ka 54 weeks ago, they are now back in. It's nice to have door handles again, and the time it took to mask up the speaker ovals to spray them silver was worthwhile as they look great. Next jobs are to spray the clock surround silver and get some speakers in the headlining over the back seats. I was a little taken aback this evening. Not by the fact that the weather changed so many times today. Nor by the fact that whilst driving round the M25 inumerable people stared at the Ka as I passed them. No, what surprised me most this evening was the fact that the new George Michael and Whitney Houston duet only entered the charts at number nine. Now I know there's a load of "teeny-pop" bands and novelty acts trying to get up there too, but come on people, this is real music. I think a law has got to be passed that makes it illegal for people under the age of, say, 21 from buying singles. Either that, or we'll have to have two charts: The real one, for "proper music" bought by people who understand it has meaning, depth and content, and the other one for kids who'll buy any old crap as long as it's "sung" by pretty boys or girls, or if it has a novelty value to it. Anyway, moving on. After a month of trudging around, looking for employment, it is with great pleasure that I announce details of Stuntys new job. As from Wednesday 14th of June, I embark on a new career with an estate agents. Originally, I was due to start on Monday 19th June, but the start date has been brought forward. So, Wednesday morning, it's best bib and tucker (whatever the hell that means!!) and off to work once more. Okay, that's it for this week. If you keep your fingers crossed, there might even be a diary update next week.

4/6/00: I know, two weeks since the last diary update, back to my old ways,blah, blah, blah. Anyway, here we are. I have set myself a goal of getting the interior door panels back in the Ka before Max Power Live. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, the doors look crap without them and I don't want to turn up at the NEC with crap-looking doors and secondly, the door panels have been off now for 53, yes 53, weeks. Now I admit that this appears to be just plain old laziness, but I've been busy! Anyway, I tried to make it up to the Ka today by spending four hours washing it and then thoroughly cleaning the inside....hell, I even shampooed the carmats! So, the Ka is spotless and still attracting looks and interest everywhere. I know they probably won't read this, but I'd like to say hi to the elderly couple I chatted with in Tesco's carpark the other day after I got back to the Ka and caught them admiring it. Also, a big HELLO to the load of other Ka owners I've overtaken in the last week, only to then slow down so that they can have a good look at my Ka and see how good theirs could be. That's all folks.

21/5/00: Well, here we are again. What's that you say? "Two diary updates in as many weeks Stunty, don't strain yourself." The reason for this is....well there's not one really, just fancied a ramble (not the kind done in hiking boots of course). Sadly once again, nothing done to the Ka. Again, due to lack of funds because of no job. Still, light at the end of the tunnel, calm before the storm and other things people say to keep your spirits up in such situations. Before I forget, I want to thank Angela again this week for the time and coffee (and that's genuine as well, love). Also want to take this opportunity to light heartedly brand Martin Gawthorpe a traitor :o) If you visit Martins site at http://ka2.cjb.net, you will find that he has chopped in his very cool Ka for a new Fiesta. Madman! Hi to Dean, Gary and Chris, just some of the Ka people I've had mail from this week. Gary, I hope your finger's better soon, mate! If anybody's going to Fiesta in the park, I hope the weather's fine for you and can someone let me have some pics, cheers. I'm a bit behind with my email but bear with me if you're waiting for a reply, it's "in the post". I might go to Fiesta in the park, have to see how I feel in the morning. If anybody wants to buy a BMC panel filter for a Ka, get in touch. Yours for only 15 and it was only used for 2000 miles. That's it, goodnight.

14/5/00: Blimey! Only a two week gap between diary updates, I must be getting more organised. Actually, that's not true at all. Right, down to business. "What's been happening to Stunty's Ka?", I hear you cry-or not. Well, actually, absolutely bugger all I'm afraid. But plenty has happened to Stunty, so I'll tell you all about that instead. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. Eight days ago on Saturday 6th May I lost my job. "That's a bit bloody careless", I can hear you saying. "Something as big as a job, and you go and lose it, you daft sod!". Friends thought it was terrible and couldn't see why I was so upbeat about it. Well, it's not the end of the world (that, obviously, would be preceded by a plague of locusts and the seas rising....oops, I'm chatting sh#t again). It's an opportunity to change direction and do something better. So, I'd like to take this chance and thank Margaret Atkinson for doing me a favour by deciding that I hadn't passed my three month probation. I'd also like everyone to join me in a round of applause for Margaret for being too spineless to tell me this herself. I'd also like to thank her for not getting back to me regarding the actual reason or reasons for me not passing my probation (obviously she too has had the "upside down hands" operation - only funny if you've read the previous diary update). Anyway, onwards and upwards (whatever that means). In the near future, Stunty's new, improved career will be revealed. I'd like to thank (genuinely) Angela for all her time and coffee in the last week. Also, a big HELLO to all the new "Ka pals" I've made this week. Right, that's it. I'm tired - this being unemployed lark really takes it out of you, you know. Might wash the Ka tomorrow.

30/4/00: Okay, I know that it's terrible that the diary hasn't been updated for about six weeks but you wouldn't believe what happened to prevent me from doing it. In a freak accident, I had both my hands amputated. The job of reattaching them was put in the hands (no pun intended) of the wonderful, and yet overworked and underpaid doctors and nurses at the local hospital. Through no fault of theirs, though probably entirely due to the disgusting underfunding from the current Labour government (who still blame their shortcomings on the previous Conservative government, even though they have been in office for two years), my hands were stitched back on upside down! This has made it impossible to type at all, but has made juggling much easier ?!?! ( I would like to point out that the above intro to my diary update is entirely untrue-except for the part about the underfunded National Health Service-and would like to apologise to anyone who has had their hands amputated and then stitched back on upside down. If I have offended anyone in this position, please write (probably quite slowly) and I shall send a personal apology). Anyway, today Stunty's Ka took a trip to Brighton. Excellent weather, not too much traffic, brilliant day. We saw a George Michael impersonator perform at the end of the pier. When I say perform......no, let's not even go there! Missed the end of the show as I had parked on double yellow lines to watch and the traffic wardens must have finished their lunch break....whoops! A quick message to all the Ka owners that I passed going down there and coming back. If you are under the impression that I slowed down as I passed you so that you could see what a great difference a set of alloys, tinted windows, a big exhaust, etc make to the Ka, then that's quite hurtful. However, it's also a completely accurate assumption to make. Go to the top of the class. Hopefully, some of you were impressed and will visit the site regularly. Right, that's all for now.

12/3/00: Whoops! I'm just trying to think of an excuse for not updating the diary in over a month....nah, can't think of one. Anyway, what's been going on you might wonder. Well since the last update all that's been done to the Ka is I had a new set of Falken ZE502's put on at Xtreme in Harlow a couple of weeks back (so much better than the slicks I was running on). Also, last weekend I set about the front grille with a Dremel and it's not there any more except for the bit supporting the Ford badge. It looks a bit odd in daylight but better in the dark. It'll look a lot better soon as I plan to fit a blue neon the length of the hole where the grille used to be. I may refit my doorcards tomorrow-SHOCK HORROR! They've only been off for about eight months now. I say that I may refit them because it's a little under two hours until the start of the Australian Grand Prix, so I'm not exactly sure what time I'll wake up after watching that. Hopefully get time to wash the Ka as well.

6/2/00: Heehee....don't think anybody noticed that the diary update got forgotten last week! Right, here we go then. Since the last update I haven't done anything to the Ka but as I've got a new, better paid job now closer to home, expect lots of mods to be reported. Coming soon: Quickshift, three more pairs of speakers, spots in the front valance. Here's a handy way to get something for nothing from your local Ford dealer: Phone and book your car in for a service and ask them to note that when they do the service DO NOT change the sparkplugs as you have NGK Triple Platinum ones in the car which are ten times better than Ford ones. Then in between when you make the phone booking and when the service date arrives, call in to the Ford dealer to check that this quite important detail has been noted, they will tell you that it has. Take the car into the dealer for the service, collect it later and find when you check the paperwork at home later that the daft buggers have binned your very expensive NGK's in favour of a 5 set of Ford plugs and charged you for them. Hmm....nice one Sky Ford in Hemel Hempstead! Also, if you are worried that your worn out old tyres are not going to make it through the MOT, get the test done at the same dealer as it would appear that your tyres will get a big fat pass "tick" even if they are slicks. Cheers for saving me a wad of cash Sky Ford in Hemel Hempstead. Oops, I nearly forgot to finish the story about the plugs. Phone the sevice manager and point out to him what an absolute shambles of an operation he has and he will supply and fit a replacement set of NGK's within a week. Round of applause to the service manager at Sky Ford Hemel Hempstead. If there's any chance that the guy in the red Cavalier that overtook me earlier today noted my site address and reads this, this bit is for you. I noticed that you had a small child in the car with you standing up between the front seats and I just wondered if you know of any other ways to potentially kill people in the event of an accident! Let's hope you are reading this. That's it for this week, bye for now.

23/1/00: Blimey, where does the time go? Seems like only two weeks since I last updated the "weekly" diary....whoops! Well, not much to tell really. I've done nothing to the Ka whatsoever, but I have just got a new job. Much closer to home and much more money. This means more of both to spend on the Ka....hooray! Just got time to ask everyone who reads this a question about those yellow signs you see in the back of more and more cars which read "Baby on board" or "Child on board". Is it just me, or is the driving of such cars that bad that it makes others wonder if it's the baby or child doing the driving? Oh well, just a thought. For anyone who lives in the Hemel Hempstead area, there's a new Eisenegger store opening in the town next Saturday (29th). Pop along and meet Stunty if you've got time as my new job is managing the store. Didn't even wash the Ka this week, tut tut.

9/1/00: Oh well, that's Christmas and New Year out of the way, now I can look forward to the most important event on the calender-my birthday! (Feb 17 in case anyone wants to email me birthday wishes). OK, so what's been done to the Ka over the festive period then. That's easy enough....absolutely nothing except washing it. It's not that I'm lazy, it's just that....oh, okay, yes I've been lazy. I did mean to finally secure the Piper Cross properly, clean the filter, sort out a couple of small problems with the stereo and change the cracked number plate on the back. But it's too cold out! Lots of hits on the site over the new year. I obviously wasn't the only one who turned to my PC to get away from all the millennium hype. Made a couple of new Ka pals, hi to Helen, thanks for the pics. Took the Ka to Brighton today. Well it had kept moaning that it hadn't been to the seaside for ages....oh dear, the madness is setting in! No word from Brian at the Highways Agency about my "tribute" to him in the Christmas diary update, I do hope that he didn't read it and choke on his Christmas pudding :o) Oh well, I'm going to leave it at that for now, to save me ranting on about nothing :o) A very happy new year to all my readers, especially Nova drivers.

25/12/99: Firstly, I would like to wish everyone (including Nova drivers) a very Merry Christmas. Why are you doing a diary update on Christmas day I hear you ask? For a couple of reasons; firstly, it hasn't been updated for nearly three weeks. Secondly, because I've done the presents thing and spent most of the day with family and now I'm bloody bored! So, what's been happening? Well, after sending countless emails to the Highways Agency regarding the roadworks I was quite surprised that the only one that I got a reply to was the one I sent earlier this week telling them how awful I thought it was of them not to have replied at all and informing them that I had forwarded copies of all my emails to my MP. Could it be this fact that prompted a reply, or am I just being cynical? Anyway, Tuesday brought an apologetic acknowledgement of my mail saying it had been passed to the "relevant department". On Friday, I got a reply from a guy in the "relevant department" called Brian Pitkin. For those who may wish to send their own comments on the roadworks to the person responsible, his email address is brian.pitkin@highways.gsi.gov.uk. Mr. Pitkins opening line in reply to my email is "I am the project manager for the M1 J2 to Scratchwood scheme." This statement raises two questions; firstly, isn't it refreshing to find someone who will own up to being responsible for such a farce? Secondly, in effect, Mr. Pitkin has said "This is my bit of road" (sort of). Now, I was only told recently that for a while now Scratchwood services has in fact been called London Gateway Services. Shouldn't the man who claims this bit of road as his have known this? Hmm...worrying. His email continues "This is the first of your E-mails which has reached me. You will be pleased to learn that the roadworks on this contract were completed on 22/12/99." Thankyou Brian. Now, if this is the first of my emails to reach him, what happened to the others? Are they lost in "hyperspace"? Surely this must be the answer as the only alternative would be gross inefficiency on the part of a Government Agency and that would never happen :o) Why will I be pleased to learn that the roadworks were completed on 22/12/99? Perhaps so that I can look forward to the New Year when I feel sure the cones will reappear so that the road between two more junctions can be resurfaced? I'm sure it will happen sooner rather than later. The rest of the email reads as follows "The 7m contract was very complex for a miaintenance (Brians spelling error, not mine) scheme, and has upgraded the standard of the M1 along this length. The scheme took slightly longer than expected due to additional unexpected works being necessary, together with some work having to be undertaken when adjacent rail lines were closed." So, lets just think about a couple of things for a minute a)if it costs 7m to resurface the road between just two junctions, how much would it cost to have a decent surface on the whole of the M1? The answer of course is it doesn't matter, because we get screwed for enough in car tax, road tax and fuel tax for there to be enough money there to resurface all the motorways twice yearly anyway. And b)the only trouble with my previous point about resurfacing twice yearly is that if it takes three months to do one junction, it would take a year just to do up to junction 4. Hmm...faster resurfacing required methinks. If the scheme took longer than expected due to unexpected additional works being necessary, does this mean that the person responsible for the scheme (Brian) didn't do his homework? Oh no, now were back to the gross inefficiency theory again. Assuming that like many Civil Servants Brian has got a nice long break now until New Year, he won't be able to read my next email until then. But when he is back at work I shall expect him to explain for me where he thinks my missing emails went, why the lane layout sign was so close to where the cones started at least for the first week of the roadworks (one would wonder if they wanted to cause a pileup) and was it really necessary to blind drivers with the huge bright lights used for working at night. These of course were just a few of the points raised in the magical vanishing emails that never got to where they were sent. Phew! I'm glad to get that off my chest, Merry Christmas all (including Brian). I'll wash the Ka in the New Year.

6/12/99: This late diary updating is becoming a habit. I must try harder. OK, several issues to cover this week starting with the roadworks at the bottom of the M1. I only have three words for the Highways Agency this week and they are "eight days left". Oh dear, does that surprise you? It shouldn't do. Your sign clearly states "major roadworks begin here September 14th for 3 months". Please don't try and kid us (too high)tax paying motorists that they're not going to be finished on time. I'll tell you what, as an incentive, I'm so sure that the cones etc will still be around after December 14th that if the roadworks are all finished on that day I promise to eat Christmas dinner at the service station (a truly horrible thought). I will be mailing this page to the Highways Agency again in the vain hope of getting a reply this side of the new year. Anyway, onto the next topic. Can somebody explain to me the following:you see lots of people in cars on mobile phones. Now, all the people in small or older cars seem to be using a handsfree device. However, all the people in big or shiny new cars are driving along with their phones in one hand, the steering wheel in the other, a hamburger in the other, a cigarette in the....hold on a minute, that's too many hands isn't it. But you know what I mean. Is there a stipulation to buying, say, a Jaguar or a Mercedes that you have to promise the salesman that you'll never use a handsfree in the car ever? Or is that these cars are so expensive that a)you don't have 20 left to get a handsfree and b)you have to put up your brain in part-exchange? Come on, think about it! OK, my last moan this week is about a guy in a red car(think it was a Rover) who sat up the arse of my Ka for about two miles through very slow moving traffic this evening. The traffic crept two yards, I pulled away a bit, he sat up my arse again. This went on for a while until one time when I stopped, he didn't. Nice one. Not only could he not tell where the front end of his car was, he didn't seem to know the location of his brake pedal either. I gave him the choice of either losing his no-claims bonus or giving me 20 for a new number plate and fittings (luckily the only damage-lucky for him!). He chose to give me 20 and after a few words were exchanged, I was on my way. So, first job tomorrow is to get the original number plate out of the garage(it hasn't got "Stunty's Ka" written on the bottom of it like the broken one, but it'll do for now) and go and spend the 20 on something else for the Ka! In case anyone wants to watch out for this loon, his registration number is C333ENM-you have been warned. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

28/11/99: Oops, nearly two days late with thw diary update. I do hope nobody notices! A very short update this week for two reasons. Firstly because nothing much has happened and secondly because I haven't even got time to just waffle on like usual. The only important thing worth mentioning this week is that, having just received the new Demon Tweeks motorsport catalogue, there is now a quickshift available for the Ka, hooray!! Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

21/11/99: I would like to start this weeks diary entry by pointing out to everyone who hasn't yet thought about it, that Christmas is just five weeks away! I'm sure you all wanted to hear that. So I thought I could share with you my letter to Santa. Dear Santa, as I have been so good this year please would you bring me an FSE power boost valve, Morette single 7" headlamp conversion, 6 more speakers, a new set of alloys (all mine seem to be kerbed), a deeper toptint for the windscreen, colour-coded bumpers and door handles, a Minidisc player and a pager for my alarm....cheers Santa. I would like to point out at this time that I have all my fingers crossed in the hope that my mother reads this! Anyway, "how are the roadworks" I hear you cry? Well, they're not that bad. I haven't seen my "friend" in the Merc all week, which is a shame. I can't remember which day it was(might have been Sunday, but don't quote me), a slight change to the roadworks occured in the form of 3 lanes going down to 2 lanes going down to 1 lane....excellent idea, well done to the Highways Agency. I mean, if they assume there's going to be that little an amount of traffic on the M1 why not go all the way and close the M1 altogether up to junction 3! I have considered wearing my sunglasses in the Ka driving home because you just can't tell on which days those dazzling lights are going to be shining down the motorway straight into your eyes....please will somebody do something about this (even if it's a car passenger with a catapult!). Still no answer from the Highways Agency to my previous emails, if anyone else would like to ask them why they don't reply, the email address is:- ha_info@highways.gov.uk All help appreciated.***URGENT MESSAGE FOR ALL OWNERS OF LIMITED EDITION KA BLACK*** - Please get in touch with Anthony Towers (email atowers@btinternet.com. Thanks. That's about it for this week. I've done nothing to the Ka except wash it. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

14/11/99: Apart from the fact that I finally got around to washing and waxing the Ka on Tuesday, quite a dull week, although a couple of things did make me chuckle. Firstly, I would like to thank the Highways Agency once again for another brilliant idea. Everyone who has driven up or down the bottom of the M1 through the roadworks in the dark has probably noticed the big portable lights pointing sideways across the carriageway, which are so helpful to the workers. I would be curious as to who had the idea early on this week that they would be able to see to work better if the lights pointed down the southbound carriageway...because, of course, this also meant that they were pointing straight into the eyes of drivers coming northbound through the roadworks. Excellent idea guys, big round of applause - NOT! I would like to hear from someone at the Highways Agency as to whether it caused many accidents before the error was noticed towards the end of the week. I look forward to your email. Thursday nights drive home had its fair share of fun too. At the point where three lanes become two I always try and leave a gap between my Ka and the car in front, so that at least one or two cars can nip in before they run out of road-yes I know, very kind of me. So, I'm curious as to why, after letting in two cars, some complete arse in a big Mercedes thought he would try and force his way in front of me as well. His huge, overpriced, fortune-to-insure gas guzzler almost touched my pride and joy (and then he would have been sorry). I had to laugh when he wound down his passenger window to say something probably not very nice before conceding...obviously a bit old and deaf, because I'm sure everyone else around could here the music booming out of the Ka, giving me no chance at all of hearing what he said. So what gave him the right to think he could barge in? Was it him thinking "my car's bigger than yours" or simply "I'm a bit thick when it comes to driving"? Hmm...probably the latter. Just in case the driver can write and took down my URL (as he had the time, being behind me and all), I hope to see you again soon. Before I forget, I would like to apologise to the occupants of the police car that I screamed past at about junction 4 doing "slightly" more than the speed limit on Thursday. Maybe unable to believe their eyes to pull me over, maybe too busy eating doughnuts :o) Just before I go, I would like to say well done to the Turkish team for holding Ireland to a 1-1 draw Saturday night. I watched the whole match...and I HATE football! Ahmet probably knows why I watched it...Sshh, it's a secret! Washed and waxed the Ka, as I've already said. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

7/11/99: Another week goes by without a proper wash for the Ka, and it has definitely affected the number of hits on the site. So, Tuesday morning come rain or shine, it's getting a scrub! Having emailed the diary page to the Highways Agency and asked them to comment on whether the roadworks at the bottom of the M1 are on schedule, I'm still waiting for a reply. I'll mail them the page again tonight, just in case they forgot! Got a real treat this week as the cone positions changed in order that work could begin on the other lanes. We lucky commuters got to drive on the hard shoulder and inside lane that have been resurfaced-WOWEE!! I'd just like to thank the Highways Agency for instructing the guys working on the road to retain the "old world charm" of how the M1 was before by making sure that the drains on the hard shoulder are at least 1" lower than the road. What a lovely idea - NOT!! A quick reminder that in 37 days all the cones will be gone and the entire resurfacing will have been completed....we'll see. After about three months of opening the drivers door and not having the interior lights come on, I finally got round to getting a new relay this week. I managed to blow the diode in the relay whilst fitting the interior light delay. Very briefly, I just want to talk about the sound you get from a Porsche 911 when you hit the horn button. Having got to work early one day this week, I sat on a bench at the end of Muswell Hill broadway (a favourite haunt) to wait for a colleague. A car pulled out on a 911 on the roundabout and, understandably, the owner of the Porsche sounded his horn. Now I know part of the reason someone buys such a car is the faultless German engineering and quality of build, but part of the reason, I feel sure, is for image purposes. But I couldn't help but chuckle when this guy hit the horn at the dozy sod who had pulled out on him, because to me the noise it made didn't exactly say "I drive a Porsche, get out of the way!". More like "If it's alright with you, please don't pull out on me in that fashion, thankyou". It's just my opinion, but I think Porsche need to do something about that horn! Let the rain wash the Ka (for the last time). Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

31/10/99: Trick or treat?...Well it is Halloween! Anyway, what's happened this week I hear you ask? Well, I put in the trim pieces for the extra interior lights and they look very cool. I'd just like to say a big HELLO to Ford.com who keep dropping by to check out the site. Hope you like it, why not sign the guestbook? Thursday afternoon I went to the motorshow. Spent loads of time at the Ford stand discussing Ka stuff with the Ford people and showing them pics of mine. Thanks to them for taking the time. Noticed quite a change in the layout of the roadworks at the bottom of the M1 on Monday morning. Now I'm not saying that last weeks diary entry prompted someone at the Highways Agency to think "Bloody hell! We're halfway into the 3 month period we said the roadworks would take and we're not even halfway finished, better pull our collective finger out!", but who knows. I'm going to mail the diary page to them again tonight and see if they'll comment. Watch this space. Had to make an emergency trip to Kwik Fit on Saturday for brake pads. It wasn't so much that I had to have them replaced, it was more a case of there weren't any so I thought I'd better get some! Got excellent service and the guys there took the time to track down a set of pads and get them delivered even though it seemed like I'd have to wait until Monday for them when I first enquired-Good show. May put up a link to the Kwik Fit site to show my appreciation, who knows. Feeling a bit lazy (and knackered) after getting up to watch the Japanese Grand Prix so I let the rain wash the car. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

24/10/99: Blimey, is it that time already? Almost missed updating the diary page! Again, not much to report this week, although I would ask everyone who reads this to check out http://www.ka-network.co.uk. It's new, and it's going to be MASSIVE. Very well set out, loads of different sections and very classy looking. Driving home up the M1 through the roadworks became a complete misery this week. Obviously there is a motorists club that I am not a member of that has decreed that when it rains they will not drive over 20 m.p.h. Also, as I sat in the barely moving trail of cars passing the sign indicating that the maximum speed allowed was 40, I couldn't help but chuckle and think "if only...". Then I thought maybe it's not a guide to the maximum speed at all, but a warning of the age I'll be when the roadworks are finally finished! Hmm..."major roadworks starting here September 14th for 3 months...". We'll see. Looks like my page finally bowed out of the Maxxed top ten this week, oh well, I've had a good run. More people required to sign the guestbook please! Finally finished off the trim pieces that I made for the extra interior lights. I'm a bit disappointed (though not really surprised) that I've had no offers of free speakers after my appeal a couple of weeks ago. Oh well. Definitely going to make up some flyers to take to and distribute at the motorshow on Thursday 28th. A quick thankyou to my mate James for pointing out that I didn't change the update date for the diary last week...oops! Cheers mate. I let the rain wash the Ka! Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

17/10/99: Not very much to report on the Ka front this week. Decided that I must find the money soon to buy new front tyres before the roads get slippery. I don't want to worry anyone who finds themselves driving in front of me, but the tyres I've got just aren't what they used to be! Added stuff to the site this weekend. There's new links on the Ka and non Ka pages-please check them out. Also, I've added an 'updated on...' bit to the links on the main page so that you don't have to guess whether any of them has been updated. Don't thank me, helpful is my middle name. Hmm...that must have been an odd christening!! Still need more people to sign the guestbook. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

10/10/99: Back to work on Monday, boo! But it means that I get to drive the Ka more, hooray! Last thing on Sunday of last week I had to make some spacers for the new interior lights to give more depth between them and the roof. So it was out with the mitre saw and the sand paper. Decided this week that there's some very strange people about (see entries in my guestbook...and sign it while you're there if you haven't already, thanks). Made some new 'Ka pals' as well. Hi to Martin, who wanted to know about the Ka stereo and to Buff in Malta, I promise we'll chat soon. Must get some of the spray cleaner for the Piper Cross sometime soon. Also must get that pair of threeways up in the headlining soon. If anybody's got two pairs of tweeters and/or two pairs of bass speakers knocking about that they don't want and would like to donate to "the most speakered Ka", please get in touch, thanks. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

3/10/99: Ah well...my second week off of work draws to a close but I'm pleased with what I've got done to the Ka. Monday this week I put a pair of tweeters in the headlining between the sunvisors. Thats ten speakers altogether now! On Thursday I had the back of the headlining down to install two extra interior lights over the back seats. Now all three interior lightbulbs are treated with neon blue bulb paint from Xtreme it's so cool inside I have to put a jumper on! Had to go to Sky Ford as well this week for help with a wiring query. Cheers to Steve in the service department for his help. Spent nearly four hours on Saturday washing, waxing, hoovering and polishing the Ka. Tried Halfords new Wet Wax Gel Polish and it's absolutely brilliant (as is the shine on the Ka). Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

26/9/99: Had this week off work and got next week off as well. Lots of time to do stuff to the Ka. I spent two and a half days this week fitting a new alarm and connecting it to the central locking...and surprisingly it all works properly too. By Monday I'll have another pair of speakers installed (in the headlining) and then set to work on the additional interior lights over the back seats. I can only assume that the same clown from the Highways Agency that I wrote about last week, read what I'd written and thought "Hmm...people are finding it too easy to negotiate the bottom of the M1 even though we've used every cone that we could find and closed the southbound carriageway so they have to share the northbound lanes separated only by a run of lolly sticks and tried to annoy them by getting loads of blokes to just stand around doing absolutely nothing, what else can we do? I know," he thought "lets wait until late afternoon, perhaps on Friday, then for a laugh chop the southbound carriageway down from three lanes to one. That ought to really annoy people driving to London at that time of day. While we're at it, let's get even more blokes to stand around doing nothing just to get them fuming." Let's hear it for the Highways Agency! Got to go to Silverstone this coming week because one of my 65 headlight bulbs has blown again. Finally got the Haynes manual for the Ka on Tuesday so if anyone's got any queries, just ask. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

20/9/99: Oops!...a day late with the diary update. Thank goodness nobody noticed. Right, what happened this week then? Well firstly, I'd just like to formally thank the Highways Agency for the complete pigs arse that they've made of the roadworks at the bottom of the M1 since last week. In case there's a chance that anyone from there reads this I'd just like to say....nice one! Could you please make the signs a little bit smaller as the ones you've got up that are the size of beermats are just too easy to read. Also, the distance between the southbound "get in the right lane" sign and the start of the cones/sticks....can you please reduce it. There's far too much time to get in the right lane, thanks. Just in case The Highways Agency has no sense of humour, (which appears not to be the case) yes, I'm being sarcastic. OK, ranting over. Didn't do much to the Ka this week at all, except swear at it a lot on Friday night cos the battery just died completely,(sob), I'm gonna miss that battery! Cheers to Paul for running me about and mum for keeping my dinner warm. Got the missing bits for the Piper Cross kit, thanks guys. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

12/9/99: Didn't win the lottery again! So no chance of getting everything that I want for the Ka this month. Still waiting for the bits for the Piper Cross kit, must ring them on Monday. Quite a lot of email this week about the Ka, ooh it's nice to be popular! If anybody with a Ka, who doesn't usually email me, reads this can you get in touch if you're interested in having a Ka meet before the weather starts getting bad, thanks. Local Halfords finally started getting in Ripspeed stock this week, yippee!! Some bugger scratched my passenger door deliberately. Four or five scratches in the middle of the door panel, not an accident. Cheers git! Washed the Ka (twice). Got laughed at for driving a girls car (with an induction kit!).

5/9/99: Had a great time at the Notting Hill Carnival, thousands of people, lots to see and do, definitely going again next year. Not very much Ka news this week. Got email from several Ka people and had a winner for the Spot The Difference competition. Spent almost all day Thursday cleaning, waxing, polishing and hoovering the Ka. I was nearly too tired to take it out for a drive and show it off in the evening! There's a new pic on the site this weekend, adapted from one of my Ka pics by Adam Partington (another fellow Ka owner) - it's fantastic! Make sure you have a look. Hopefully I'll get the missing parts from the Piper Cross fitting kit soon, it's still working brilliantly. Once more for luck then....who cares if they're laughing, I've got a Piper Cross induction kit!!

29/8/99: Ten days into running the Piper Cross and no noticeable increase in fuel consumption (only really expected that because that's how it normally works - put something on to improve performance and up goes the fuel consumption). Something else that I noticed, now that the Ka doesn't get breathless at 5000rpm, is the rev limiter. It cuts in at 6000rpm. Spoke to a helpful guy at Piper Cross on Wednesday who, firstly, checked through invoices and orders for me to be able to confirm that yes, I did get the first induction kit for a Ka and secondly, took details from me about the bits missing from the fitting kit and said he'd post them off to me. Also on Wednesday, I informed the insurance company about the Piper Cross only to be told that there would be no increase in the premium - which is nice. Washed the Ka. It has to be said once more - who cares if they're laughing, I've got a Piper Cross induction kit!!

22/8/99: Yippee!!! Thursday morning 9.15am saw the arrival of the Piper Cross induction kit, finally. Big thanks to everyone at D.C.Cook Motorsport at Silverstone for the prompt service. I could hardly contain myself until the end of the day at work. If I'd taken my tools with me that day, I'd have fitted it in the carpark before I came home. As it was, the fitting had to wait until about 7pm that evening. It took about an hour to fit and was very straightforward as it came with very clear instructions including photos. The only minor problems I had were the absence of two plastic washers and a nut, the fact that the smallest of the enclosed jubilee clips was too small and that I felt that the fitting arrangement for the engine management sensor could have been a little better (sorry guys!). Still, all in all an easy install. OK, drop the bonnet, start it up and initially no different to normal. Start driving up the road and WOW!! The first thing I noticed was the excellent induction roar that comes in at around 2600 revs. The second thing I noticed was the improved response from the accelerator pedal, whether in 1st or 5th, low or high revs. Finally, the amazing difference to the 'old Ka' with the slight breathing problem at high revs. Before, it's breathing at times was not unlike that of a 20 a day smoker first thing in the morning. But now, it's like that of, well, somebody who has never smoked! All in all, probably the best (certainly the most eagerly awaited) mod I've made to the Ka. All hail Piper Cross. Washed the Ka. Who cares if they're laughing, I've got a Piper Cross induction kit!!

15/8/99: What an excellent week! Wednesday will be remembered by a lot of people as one of the most important days of the millenium. Not because of the solar eclipse, but because it was the day that the Piper Cross induction kit for the Ford Ka finally got released. I ordered mine from D.C.Cook Motorsport at Silverstone and hope to have it within a few days. Expect a full report on it here next week. Surprisingly, no entries for the Spot The Difference competition yet-doesn't anybody want a free bottle of Armor All? Still haven't received a quote for the new bumpers from Sky Ford-maybe it got lost in the post. Found a couple of new Ka sites-expect links to them shortly. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

8/8/99: Hooray! The new shock absorber turned up on Thursday and I had it fitted on Friday morning. At last, four wheels glued to the road instead of three. Now I can get back to racing Nova 1.4 SR's. Of course, there's also the issue of being able to drive the Ka safely again. I had meant to ring Piper Cross on Friday, but I didn't get round to it so I'll have to do it on Monday. I'm expecting a quote in the post anytime now to supply, colour code and fit the new style Ka bumpers....then I think that'll be it for the exterior for now. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

1/8/99: My new shock still hasn't turned up...I'll have to chase them tomorrow. I didn't have the patience to wait until next week to ring Piper Cross, so I rang them on Tuesday and got told that the induction kit should be ready by the end of next week. Went to have a look at the limited edition Ka Black on Tuesday, I have to admit that I'm a little bit worried...it's almost as cool as mine :o) The guy at my local Ford dealer also let me go up today and take some pics, check the site, they'll be here soon. Washed AND waxed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

25/7/99: Didn't bother phoning Piper Cross this week as I thought I'd give them the couple of weeks they said it would be to get the induction kit ready-I'm sure it'll be ready the next time I phone them :0) Had a bit of trouble with my left rear shock this week-when I say a bit of trouble, I was stationary at traffic lights whilst coming home from work and the seal on the shock burst. This left me with an extremely bouncy spring on that corner and no grip so it took longer driving home from London at about 20mph. The good news is that the shocks have a lifetime guarantee and the new one should arrive tomorrow or Tuesday. Until then, the Ka will be in the garage. This is due in part to the fact that the Ka is not very safe to drive, but mainly due to the fact that it looks bloody stupid from the back with the left side about three feet (not really that much) higher than the right. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

18/7/99: Not much to report this week. Went back to work on Monday. Phoned Piper Cross first thing to be told that the induction kit won't be available for two to three weeks. Contacted another couple of Ka owners that I found using Alta Vista and made them aware of the Ka mailing list. Also decided that the next thing I'm going to spend money on for the Ka is a quickshift. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

11/7/99: British Grand Prix day-yippee!! Sadly, I won't be there this year but you see more on TV anyway. God knows why, but I'm doing this update at 2am-I just can't sleep. Anyway, two weeks off work and apart from washing it, what have I done to the Ka? Absolutely nothing. Not quite true, on Thursday I got website address graphics for the rear side windows(you can never have enough advertising). Back to work tomorrow...BOO! Must make a mental note to phone Piper Cross in the morning, just so they don't think I've died. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

6/7/99: The update to my diary due 27/6/99 was delayed cos of problems with my host(I think). As updates go, this is probably pointless as I've been in Gran Canaria for the last week and therefore have done nothing to the Ka-except to make sure before I went that it was clean in and out for my return. If it sounds like I'm rambling that's because I flew in at 4.30 this morning and have now been awake for about 37 hours nonstop(that's my excuse anyway). I had planned to phone Piper Cross before I went but didn't have time so I'll annoy them again tomorrow. Got to go now, must get some sleep.

W/E 20/6/99: Another phone call first thing Monday morning to Piper Cross-still no induction kit. They're probably thinking 'Oohh....we keep getting calls about the kit for the Ka, we're going to sell loads of them'. The lefthand channel on the amp for the back set of mids blew this week. Oh well, that's what happens when you buy cheap amps I suppose. Rang about thirty insurance firms to get quotes for insurance for when it runs out next week. Got the best one from Greenlight(01277 263030). Forgot to pick up my shorter web address graphic on my day off so my brother picked it up on Saturday for me, cheers bruv. That'll be going on today. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

W/E 13/6/99: Phoned Piper Cross again on Monday, still no induction kit. Had to go back to D.C.Cook on Tuesday cos one of my headlight bulbs blew, it's not a problem though because they're guaranteed for 10 years. Also on Tuesday, I went to the EBC brake centre in Northampton to get new brake discs and Greenstuff pads. Tuesday afternoon I collected my web site graphic and put it on the back bumper. Only one email so far from someone who must have seen it and looked at the site. The email just said 'you sad person'. Not as sad as someone who sits in their car writing down web site addresses just to slate them mate! Planning to finally sort out the mess in the boot when I'm on holiday in a couple of weeks. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

W/E 6/6/99: Finished putting the central locking in last Sunday afternoon so it can be connected to the alarm when it's put in on Wednesday. Tuesday morning I went to the place in Essex that tinted my windows and got them to put a toptint on the windscreen. It looks good, but I might go back next week and get them to put an even deeper one on. Also on Tuesday, I ordered a graphic of my web address to go across the back bumper. On Wednesday, the bloke from Sextons turned up to do the alarm. Unfortunately, ten minutes after he started, so did the rain. So he's coming back to do it another day cos he can't fit it in the rain. I also bought lots more silver spray paint this week to brighten up more bits of the interior. Bought some Mobil 1 oil and a filter to do an oil change(sometime). **VERY IMPORTANT BIT** Please can anyone who reads this who has a Ka, or knows someone who owns a Ka, go to http://fordka.cjb.net and sign up for the Ford Ka owners mailing list(there's a link to it on my main page). This was set up by a pal in order that Ka owners can exchange views, help one another out with Ka related queries and hopefully arrange a Ka meet sometime through the summer-thankyou **END OF VERY IMPORTANT BIT**. Also this week I signed up to get URL redirection. My new URL is http://ka1.cjb.net-much shorter and a bit easier to remember than the one I had before. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

W/E 30/5/99: Still waiting for the Piper Cross induction kit-which is OK cos it means I've got more time to clean the engine bay for pictures after it's fitted. Got an email from Ferrari saying it was alright to put a link to them on my Ka page. I couldn't get the central locking to work so I phoned the Microscan helpline. They told me that their kit won't work with Fords as the connection between the inside handle and the lock is a cable-so it's on it's way back to Demon Tweeks. Used a search engine to find PCA who a)supply central locking to suit Fords and b)provide the absolute best service of anyone I've dealt with in getting parts for the Ka-special thanks to Terry Dwyer(I hope I've spelt that right). Also this week I decided to get uprated brake discs in the near future. Found out from a place in Luton that I can buy the registration number KA1 for a bargain 34995, so I'm just off to sell my flat to raise the cash...ha,ha. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

W/E 23/5/99: Busy week. Emailed Ferrari and Jordan to ask if they minded me putting links on my page to their sites-no reply yet. On Tuesday I went to D.C.Cook Motorsport in Silverstone to buy some new headlight bulbs and give them the money for the Piper Cross induction kit so they can get me one as soon as it's out(D.C.Cook is only 6 miles up the road from Piper Cross). Also on Tuesday I went to the Motorist Discount Centre in St.Albans to get some NGK triple platinum sparkplugs and a delay for the interior light. Excellent shop and great service. Bought a remote central locking kit from Demon Tweeks-must find time to fit it. Decided it's time to tidy up all the wires in the boot. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

W/E 16/5/99: Got a phone call from Xtreme on Monday, unfortunately to say they couldn't get the Splitfire sparkplugs for five weeks, so I cancelled the order. On Tuesday I emailed Piper Cross to ask when the induction kit for the Ka was going to be out. Got a reply the next day to say it would be for sale in two weeks-hooray! Thursday, spent THREE hours polishing the metal plates on the car mats with Autosol-now shinier than when they were new(pics to come soon on a new page-Inside my Ka. Got a quote on Friday for having the engine bay steam cleaned for more pics when the Piper Cross kit is in. Got an email from the owner of the Ford RS webring, having asked if I could join, to say yes and to tell me that he too owns a Ka-the man's got taste! Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

W/E 9/5/99: Went to Northampton on Tuesday to collect the shocks and springs from Scotts, then took them up the road to Lion Services for fitting. A couple of hours later after a trip to Northampton market to pick up a bargain fourth amp the car was ready to collect. Took some more pics of the Ka this week now that it has been lowered, hopefully they'll be up this week. Sorted out the problem with Xtreme and went to see them on Sunday to get the geometry checked and to order a set of Splitfire sparkplugs. Phoned P.T.S. in St.Albans about the availability of the Piper Cross induction kit for the Ka, they hoped to get me one for the end of the month. Also on Sunday, I connected up the fourth amp-that's better, now I can set the level for each pair separately. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

W/E 2/5/99: The Mafco leads turned up on Friday and went straight on. Got a phone call from Northampton and arranged to have the new shocks and springs fitted on Tuesday 4th May. Emailed Xtreme TWICE as I'd been overcharged last Sunday(had to email them because I can't use the phone at work). No reply yet, I'm sure they're very busy. Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.

W/E 25/4/99: Phoned a place in Northampton to order a lowered suspension kit, hopefully it'll be on within a fortnight. Ordered a set of Mafco Pro sparkplug leads, they should be here by Tuesday. Visited Xtreme in Harlow on Sunday and bought lots of goodies including a new set of tyres with an even lower profile(195/45 15). Washed the Ka. Got laughed at for driving a girls car.